You've Got Mail!
by hersheygal
Summary: Kate checks Jack’s emails. Jack bashing of course.


Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: This is set as if the hatch never exploded to make this easier.

Kate wandered into the hatch. It was a dull day. Hardly anyone ever came to the hatch anymore.

Kate walked into the kitchen and got herself some Dharma Pepsi. As she opened it, she heard a little ding followed by a deep voice. "You've got mail!"

Kate immediately giggled as she always loved when she got mail and she raced into the computer room to check it. To her disappointment, the computer was logged in under Jack's account. Jack had gotten mail.

Kate sighed and started to move away, but then the computer talked again. "I said, you've got mail."

Kate slowly backed away from the computer. "But it's Jack's mail."

"So what? Jack hates you anyways. You might be able to find some dirt on him." The computer said in an automated tone.

"That's a good idea!" Kate skipped towards the computer, yes skipped, and sat down. She clicked the mail button. "You are checking mail for screen name **hotdoctor666**. Proceed?"

Kate clicked yes.

"Password please?"

Kate groaned. She didn't know the password.

"It's easy." The computer hinted.

"Um.. Sawyer sucks?"

"Password correct! You have gained entry into **hotdoctor666'**s account!"

The screen turned to a purple setting, and Kate immediately noticed all the different folders.

She started to click on each of them, the first one called Daddy.

The message subject was: Leave Me Alone and his screen name was **deadguy4eva.**

Kate clicked on it and the message read,

_Jack,_

_Don't you get the saying REST IN PEACE?!?! I've been dead for four months! I don't care about you!_

_Your (DEAD) Dad._

Kate clicked on the next folder. It was her folder. It was titled, The One I Love, But No Longer Do... I Think.

There were no new messages in Kate's folder, but Jack had saved every single message he had ever gotten from her. There were even some messages from her before the crash. Kate didn't know how he pulled that one off. Kate realized there was a subfolder and she clicked on it. It was a drafts folder, and Jack had written tons of emails to Kate that he never sent. Kate couldn't bring herself to read them. She moved on to the next folder, which was Sawyer's.

His screen name was **skatersrule**. Surprisingly, Sawyer had emailed Jack back two times.

_Doc,_

_You gotta stop this. It's not right. It's not healthy. Get a life._

The next one read:

_Hey Jacko,_

_Leave Freckles alone. She's mine. Get over it_.

The next folder was Juliet's. Her screen name was **jacketbabe28**. Jack had five messages from her. The titles were suggestive, so Kate didn't bother reading them.

Kate moved onto the junk mail, and noticed a ton of subjects that were written like, 'Do you want to get off the island? Then this is the email for you!'

Or, 'How to be a better doctor."

And. 'How to get the girl that doesn't want you.'

One of them caught her eye. 'Vote for Sanjaya! He's the most talented!'

Kate clicked on it, having no idea who Sanjaya was, and realized that it was Jack who was sending the message. He had sent out a global email to the whole world persuading them to vote for Sanjaya. If they didn't, he was going to kill everyone in their sleep. The killing part wasn't what scared everyone.

Kate scrolled down in the message, and realized that Jack had a email signature. It was composed of a bunch of quotes. Most of them were from himself:

_---- Dr. Jack Shephard's Email Signature---_

"_If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone!"- Dr. Jack Shephard while encouraging everyone. _

"_Do you remember the story I told you on the beach, the day of the crash.Do you remember what story I told you when you were stitching me up? DO YOU REMEMBER IT!?!"- Dr. Jack Shephard while talking to Kate. (Kate replies that she indeed does remember)_

"_Yep. That's me. Hardcore."- Dr. Jack Shephard while talking to Kate about his mysterious tattoos._

_Jate is Fate and we all know it! (hehe)_

This scared Kate, and she quickly moved onto a different folder. Its title was a bunch of symbols, so Kate didn't know what to expect.

It turned out to be email subscriptions Jack had sighed up for, or emails from fansites and forums.

As Kate went down the list, Kate realized that Jack had emails from all the soap operas.

Kate quickly signed off, and jumped when she heard some music. Kate walked into the living room, and saw a cell phone going off. 'How To Save A Life' was playing on it, and Kate picked it up to answer it.

"Hello?"

There was heavy breathing on the other end, and maniacal laughing. "I'm going to get you Jack Shephard."

"But I'm not Jack!" Kate yelled into the phone, but the person hung up.

The phone rang two minutes later, this time the song was 'Don't Cha'. Kate threw the phone, but it continued to play.

Kate slowly approached, afraid of what she would see if she opened it.

A/N: I might write another chapter where Kate checks Jack's text messages. Let me know what you thought! Oh and Sanjaya is from American Idol if you didn't know. :)


End file.
